The Best Things Come in Two
by hippielicious
Summary: Ricki and Sage have found themselves swept up into a strange new land called "Middle Earth". There, they somehow find themselves part a journey along with thirteen dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard. Throughout it all, all the can ask themselves is: When will the madness end?
1. Chapter 1

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon and in the early morning light, two people could be seen mounting horses. "What is this mission for again?" one of the individuals on the horses asked.

"We are acquiring supplies from the city," the other horseman replied. Or horsewoman, as the case was, because both of the individuals on horses were women.

There was only one individual standing on the ground and he was scowling sternly at each of the women. "Remember: All you are doing is retrieving supplies and nothing else. The city is supposedly abandoned but I don't want to take any chances. Do not camp there or anywhere nearby and leave as soon as possible." He handed the second woman a device. "This reads the radiation in the area. Most of the city should be safe, but long term exposure may lead to consequences."

"Believe me," she replied. "I am quite aware. I've treated more than a couple people for radiation sickness." He only nodded a reply. It was too early for any type of lengthy conversation. With that, the women set off for their destination.

By midday, the landscape had begun to change drastically. Where there had once been trees and grass there was now almost nothing left alive; the occasional insect would skitter across the dry earth, but there wasn't anything else - not even a weed - in sight. It wasn't long before they reached their destination which turned out to be a nearly level city. The few buildings that were left standing were misshapen and incredibly structurally unstable. A bomb had clearly hit this city as some point or another. "Well, it looks like we've run into some luck," the dark-haired woman said with a smile, as she pushed her dark glasses up the bridge of her nose. "The hospital is still standing. Plus, radiation levels are still safe."

"Whatever you say, Doctor Belov," the blonde woman replied.

"Thank you, General Belov." At this, both sisters cracked smiles at each other.

"How long will it take you to raid the hospital?" Ricki, the blonde one, asked.

"I don't know. It could take an hour or two."

Ricki sighed irritably. "Sage, could you possibly hurry it up?"

Her sister huffed a little haughtily. "The only reason I will 'hurry it up', is if the radiation levels spike for some reason or another. We need the supplies back home. The state of our supposed hospital is absolutely atrocious. Especially with the state of the generator. I never know if we're going to have electricity through the night! Isn't there anything we can do about it?" she complained as they took the abandoned streets towards the hospital.

"No, there isn't. Trust me, the best people are on generator duty, and there is nothing more that they can do."

By now they had reached the hospital and Sage quickly went about trying to gather various medications and supplies that she imagined could be useful under any circumstances whatsoever and had filled a somewhat large bag with everything she had managed to get her hands on. "Are you done yet?" Ricki asked impatiently.

"Yes -" Sage began, but stopped abruptly when she saw a staircase leading down into a basement of the hospital. She glanced quickly at the radiation levels and once she noticed it was perfectly safe, she called "Ricki, can you come here for a moment?"Her sister quickly walked over with a curious look on her face. "Will you come down there with me?"

Ricki gripped a few of the many guns that she had brought along with them. "Don't you have all the supplies you need?" she asked, a gleam of doubt in her eyes. "Would it even be safe?"

"The radiation levels are fine. I just want to see what's down there. Whatever's there may have survived the blast from the bomb fairly well." With that, Sage began to descend down the staircase, her sister protectively following her.

What was there when they touched the bottom surprised them. All that was there was a strange device in the middle of the room, which neither of them, with all their life experiences, could possibly identify. Beside this device was a box, filled to the brim with watches that simply weren't quite like any watch either had seen before. Each and every one of the odd watches was flashing the end of a countdown: 00:00:00.

Sage eagerly began investigating the watches, promptly putting one of them on her wrist. "It's so strange, Ricki. There is almost no trace of radiation down here. Remarkably low levels, considering we are practically at ground zero." Sage, unlike Ricki, did not feel anything at all ominous about the basement. Ricki, put simply, felt as if the two of them did _not_belong in that basement. "Ricki, these are nice watches; you should put one on."

Ricki reluctantly strapped the watch to her wrist, her eyes darting around the room, just as Sage began to investigate the machine the watches were next to. "Come on, Sage. There's nothing down here, so let's go."

She roughly yanked her sister, causing Sage to bump the machine and the lights on it to flash.

* * *

Instantly, they were no longer safe inside the basement of the hospital, but trying to grab a foothold in seawater, as a storm brewed around them. As they struggled to keep their heads above the water, their feet found ground. Just as this happened, they felt themselves jerked out of the water, by strong hands and pulled onto land. It was dark outside, probably nighttime, and both of them were simply too dazed to understand what had happened to them.

* * *

Gandalf the Grey had had a very pleasant couple of days. He had recently convinced Thorin Oakenshield that now was the time to reclaim Erebor, if ever a time existed. He had also managed to get his hands on some excellent pipeweed - which he was now smoking - and he was currently headed towards Rivendell to spend the night before he made his way to the Shire, where he would undoubtedly find his burglar. Yes, it was indeed a very pleasant feeling.

That evening, as he sat and ate dinner with Elrond, he revealed his destination to the elf lord. "Yes, tomorrow morning I set off for the Shire. It should be a rather uneventful journey." This was one of the few times Gandalf had dined with Elrond and could actually make an entire dinner of pleasant conversation. That is, unless Elrond brought up Erebor, for some unknown reason.

"Why are you headed to the Shire?" Elrond asked. There was an edge to his voice that Gandalf did not understand. Why would Elrond - why would anybody? - be concerned with the Shire?

"I am there to visit a relative of an old friend," the old wizard replied, hiding that his true intentions involved thirteen dwarves and hobbit going on a journey to Erebor.

"Perhaps you might do me a favor while you are there?" Elrond's eyebrows raised questioningly.

"Perhaps," Gandalf nodded, intending for Elrond to go on.

"There are two women who currently reside there whose residence there I am extremely curious about."

"Why would two women be living in the Shire? And why are you so interested in them, might I ask?"

"You see, Gandalf, a very strange event occurred a few months ago in the west, where the land meets the sea. From the reports I have heard from a few elves, a storm began to form extremely quickly there. In fact, it was almost as if it appeared out of nowhere. During this storm, two elves noticed something in the water and went down to investigate. It was the two women, neither of whom had been sighted before the storm. What is even stranger than this is the fact that neither of them knew any tongue which the elves there could speak. The women began speaking in a strange language of their own, which sounded nothing like what they had ever heard. After a number of weeks, once they were sufficient at the common tongue and some elvish, the two were sent to live in the Shire. The Shire was chosen because it sounded the most like their homeland, which is a land I have never heard of. And so, if you could please try to obtain more information from them, it would be very helpful in determining just what happened to them."

"What land did they claim to be from?"

"I believe they called it 'America'. A strange name, if you ask me. To make matters worse, neither of them seemed to comprehend the existence of elves, or any creature besides men. Apparently, they were absolutely aghast at the sight of the hobbits."

"Most would be aghast at the sight of hobbits, my dear lord Elrond," Gandalf said with a smile.

"Nevertheless, they would be easy enough to locate and I am asking you do this as a favor for me. Would you?"

"Alright," Gandalf replied. "Do you know their names?"

The elf lord nodded. "They were strange names - indeed befitting of strange people - but I believe they were called Ricki and Sage.


	2. Chapter 2

Gandalf breathed in an enormous breath of fresh air as he entered the small land known as the Shire. He had never quite understood it, but there was something quite enjoyable and comforting about the peculiar landscape and the people inhabiting it. There may not be any grand mountains nearby, enchanting waterfalls or anything that could quite be called magical really, but there was a different sort of magic that was enchanting in its own right. The type that somehow always drew you back. Being familiar with this land, it was difficult for him to imagine any counted among the race of men who could possibly be content here. The race of men was an adventurous one, and one who had shaped Middle Earth much more so than any hobbit.

However, for the time being, he had to put thoughts of the women in the shire behind him for a task of an entirely different sort, and one that could potentially be much more daunting: he had to convince Bilbo Baggins to go on an adventure. Although, in truth, it wasn't until he actually encountered the hobbit that he realized just how daunting that task may be.

He had just responded to Mr. Baggins' offensive comment about being in business – and succeeded in putting Mr. Bilbo Baggins into quite a tizzy - when he realized that he may well be able to kill two birds with one stone. Just as Mr. Baggins was about to go inside, a peculiar sight for the Shire whizzed past them.

There was a short pause before Gandalf chose to speak. "Now what on earth is she in such a hurry for?"

"Every morning, that dark-haired woman runs across all of Hobbiton, as if it were the most normal thing in the world!"

"To be honest, I'm a little more curious as to why a woman would be living in the Shire at all," Gandalf responded.

He saw Bilbo's eyes light up, finally excited to be in a realm he was slightly more familiar with: gossip. "It's all most bizarre. You see, it began when two elves escorted these two young women to Hobbiton, apparently only intending to spend the night. But Mrs. Acacia Took overheard them arguing in the inn. Apparently, they had been planning on finding the women a home in a city of men, but the women said that the Shire was eerily similar to the home that they had left and after hearing stories of the cities of men, would prefer to live _here_. Here in Hobbiton of all places! Well, of course, they've been the subject of almost all gossip since they've arrived." This much was exceedingly clear to Gandalf. "Anyway, the dark-haired woman got a job nearly right away running what she calls a 'clinic'. From what I've heard, she's an extraordinary healer, and has potent medicine. She even saved a hobbit who was believed to be drowned! I frankly couldn't believe it."

"Do you know where they live? I'm sure they would have many fascinating stories to tell." Bilbo could detect a small gleam in Gandalf's eyes and was desperately trying to figure out what the old wizard might be up to.

"They live up the road a ways. Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to meet either of them. All I know is that they're supposedly sisters and their neighbors claim that they are friendly enough."

"Seems a pity that you have not had the opportunity to have a conversation with two women who are practically your neighbors. How would you like to invite them to tea with us?" At this, Mr. Baggins began to stutter almost as badly as he had when Gandalf had suggested an adventure. "Oh, don't worry about it. I'll pay them a visit later today and invite them to tea tomorrow. I'm sure they'll be delighted."

With that, Gandalf left the stuttering hobbit, but not before leaving his mark on the door for the dwarves to find. It was now high time that he attended to the business that Elrond had assigned to him. The wizard took a pleasant walking gait as he headed towards the village. Before he asked the women anything, he intended to ask around Hobbiton for a little information. It was lucky for him that once he reached the village square, he ran into the only hobbit woman that he would need to meet for information. It was Mrs. Acacia Took herself, the expert on anything going on in all of the Shire.

"Mrs. Took, may I bother you for a few minutes?"

"Of course, Mr. Gandalf," she said, if a little stiffly. However, she perked up considerably once she realized what the topic of conversation was. "That little Primula Brandybuck was playing in a river when she slipped and fell. We all thought the poor dear was drowning. Then, out of nowhere comes Ms. Sage Belov and she immediately knew what had happened. It was really quite extraordinary, but this was where things got strange. She put her lips on little Primula's. It outraged quite a few folks at the scene. But then, after a minute, little Primula began to cough up all the water she had swallowed and was almost good as new. I think it was sorcery, personally. But don't get me wrong, I'm alright with all of that nonsense so long as they use it for the good of others," she quickly added, realizing she was in the company of a wizard. "They both have strange accents, and the other one – I think her name is Ricki – doesn't speak much. But, overall, I don't think they're too much trouble. They seem to like it here."

"Thank you so much Mrs. Took. I now can quite honestly say that I look forward to meeting them."

* * *

Gandalf stared at the round hobbit door – red as a rose – that was in front of him. It was time. He rapped on the door, and very soon saw the face of the woman who had ran by Bilbo's house earlier that morning. Her hair was black, and for some reason she had some sort of magnifying lenses in front of her eyes. Usually, devices such as those were used by much older men and women of Middle Earth. Little did Gandalf know, but the spectacles were one of the most normal aspects of either woman.

"May I help you?" she asked as a kind smile split onto her face.

"Yes, I was wondering if I might intrude. I was sent by Elrond of Rivendell to check on you and your sister, Miss Belov."

"Elrond is the elf-lord, correct?" she asked. As the wizard nodded, she let him into her home. As he stepped in, it occurred to him how strange it was that neither woman had to stoop in order to stand in the hobbit hole. Then he realized just how short both of them were. "This is my sister," Sage said, gesturing towards the blonde woman in the room. "Her name is Ricki. I'm afraid she doesn't speak Westron very well. She's not fantastic with languages." It was truly remarkable just how well Sage had begun to learn the languages of Middle Earth. She didn't even stumble when she spoke.

"Sorry for inconvenience," Ricki muttered. "Why you here?" Ricki's speech was indeed more…rudimentary.

"Lord Elrond was curious to know more about you two. He had never heard of your country, and you seem to have come from nowhere."

The two glanced at each other. Their story would be difficult to explain. "To be quite honest, sir, we're not entirely sure how we came to be here, ourselves."

"How rude of me," he exclaimed. "I've forgotten to tell you my name. I am Gandalf the Grey and I am a wizard."

"I haven't heard that word in Westron before," Sage mused.

"What it mean?" Ricki asked, a little suspicious.

"It means that I can perform a few feats of magic, but not really much else," he replied with a smile.

"I suppose when there are elves, and hobbits, and who knows what else, we shouldn't be shocked about wizards," Sage said with a small, uncomfortable smile.

"There are indeed much stranger things that exist in middle earth."

"All I can say is that one minute we were about to head home after raiding an abandoned city, when we were suddenly being rescued out of the sea by elves. We don't really know anything else. We've been quite lost since we've come here."

It was then that Gandalf knew he could not possibly hope to learn everything about the circumstances of their appearance in the span of only one afternoon. And so, he decided that he would take a risk, because risks typically yielded good results for him. "I may have an offer for you that you might enjoy. You see, I am planning quite the adventure, and we may be able to learn more about just how you came to be here on Middle Earth. Besides, I believe that your company would be enjoyable on the journey." Neither sister seemed to know quite what to say. "There is no need to have an answer now. I am quite happy and willing to wait. Would you at least do me the honor of having tea with the both of you tomorrow?"

"I think we can manage that, at least," Sage responded.

"Excellent. Do you know who Mr. Bilbo Baggins is?" The two nodded. "Excellent. Be at his residence tomorrow at tea time. There will be quite a few of us there. Then, I will need your decision about the journey."

* * *

"Sage, this is insane!" Ricki yelled in English as her sister took scones out of the tiny oven.

"All we are doing is going to tea," her sister replied calmly.

"I know what you're like, and I know that we are not just going to tea. You are actually considering going on this silly quest. How do we even know he isn't crazy?"

"He seemed to know everything that was going on. We have to trust him, Ricki. Besides, it could be fun and you are the one who has been complaining to me day in and day out about how boring things are here. And, for my final argument, we may be able to learn a little bit more about how we got here in the first place."

"Somehow, I doubt he will understand any more than we do. This is a very different world."

"It's not going to hurt us to go. Besides, we already have an idea about when we're going home."

"It is a very ill-informed hypothesis."

"Oh, somebody remembered something from freshman biology. Yes, it is only a hypothesis, but it is the best we've got." With this, Sage held up her right wrist, where the watch from the basement was. The countdown was clearly visible on it: 06: 32: 08. "It looks like we have six months, thirty-two days, and eight hours until we are home."

"What if we need to be at the ocean when it happens?"

"That wasn't the case on the way here, and it stands to reason that the journey home will be much the same."

"You should have left the damn basement alone." Sage could see the apprehension in Ricki's eyes and went over to touch her shoulder.

"Maybe. But we're here now and we might as well enjoy our vacation. We have lived two months without any real responsibility in this sight for sore eyes called the Shire. Why not see the rest of this world? Besides, Gandalf was nice. At any rate, I think we'll be safe meeting him for tea."

* * *

Bilbo Baggins was on the verge of being a little irate with the two dwarves already in his house when he heard his bell ring once again. He opened the door, hoping it would be Gandalf to explain away the whole situation, when he saw it was the two women. Admittedly, they were not the most welcome sight – the hobbit certainly was not ready for anymore guests – but at least they were not an entirely unexpected sight. Moreover, they had brought food, which was more than can be said of any of the guests already invading his home. "Ah, yes. Gandalf said that he might invite you. Welcome," he said warmly.

"Thank you so much!" said Sage enthusiastically. "It's so nice to finally meet you. I am Sage Belov and this is my sister, Ricki. At your service!" At least, that was what she thought was the polite thing to say here.

"Bilbo Baggins at yours."

"We've brought some scones, a pie and…" she trailed off, searching her arms for something that wasn't there. "Oh, dear, we've forgotten the soup." She turned to her sister. "Ricki, could you go get it?" As Ricki headed out the door, Bilbo hurriedly whispered to Sage that she should hide the food in the second door on the left down one of the many hallways in the house.

"I do believe that these dwarves may attempt to eat me out of my own house. Did you know anything about the dwarves?" His face fell a little when the woman shook her head.

"Do you need any help?" she asked politely.

Bilbo Baggins was about to answer no; after all, he was the host and she was the guest. However, he was sure that the panicked look that crossed his face when his doorbell rang again surely would have given him away. "I might just need your help," he responded. And, when the hoard of dwarves tumbled onto his doorstep, there was no doubt in his mind that he would need the help of the woman.

* * *

Ricki was morosely carrying the soup out of the hobbit hole. She had intentionally left the soup behind because she had made it and she was an atrocious cook and didn't want to embarrass herself. Unfortunately, Sage didn't seem to understand this.

She had just closed the gate behind her when she saw a very strange looking person wandering around. He was considerably taller than any hobbit in the shire, which is what really caught her attention. "Lost?" she asked. It was best if she could keep her sentences down to three words or less.

"Yes. Unfortunately I am. Could you help me find the house of a Bilbo Baggins?"

"Yes." And with that she began walking towards the hobbit's house, the stranger tentatively following her, as if unsure if she had given him a real answer.

It was only now that the sun had gone down that Ricki noticed the mark on Bilbo's door that had attracted all the dwarves. "Ah, yes. That is Gandalf's mark on the door. Thank you," he said a little stiffly.

"You're welcome," she replied as she rang the doorbell.

The door was answered by none other than Sage and Ricki shoved the soup into her arms. "Soup."

Throughout the meal, the sisters were quickly learning, along with Bilbo just what the entire journey actually was about and what it may entail. Now, the singing began and all three became enthralled in the tale of the dwarves. Thorin had been going on and on about the journey and never coming back when Sage turned to Bilbo and saw just how distressed the poor little guy had become. Just before he was about to let out a little shriek, she put a comforting arm on his shoulder. There was something about her infinite calm that soothed him a little bit. As the others began to talk about secret doors, all three were listening but Bilbo was mostly looking at the two sisters who really were very different. He was just barely keeping himself together when Gandalf mentioned him becoming the company's burgler.

"He looks more like a grocer than a burgler," the dwarf-king said a little snidely as the other dwarves muttered in agreement.

"If I say that Bilbo Baggins is a burgler, then a burgler he is," Gandalf growled darkly as the whole room passed into shadow. He hadn't been kidding about being a wizard, then.

As Bilbo went into the next room to look over the contract, Sage and Ricki overheard Gandalf and Thorin whispering together. "I cannot be responsible for his safety." He saw the sisters staring at him and glared. "What I am even more curious about, Gandalf, is why you have invited these two to dinner with us." He said this with no small degree of coldness in his voice. "Women of any race are cumbersome on journeys. They only lead to trouble." At this the eyes of both sisters flashed with anger.

"I have invited them to come on this journey because I have the utmost confidence in their abilities and other more personal reasons. Just like our Mr. Baggins, I believe that there is more to these two than meets the eye. Ricki, I am told, is a very skilled warrior. And Miss Sage is a sorceress, I am told."

Sage was about to object to being called a sorceress when Gandalf shot her a look, telling her to be silent. "Yes, that's right. And also, if Ricki and I come on this quest, we would be more than happy to be responsible for the safety of Mr. Baggins. We'll sign the contract." She turned to Ricki and whispered a few words in their native tongue. Thorin huffed. He had wondered why their accents had sounded so strange.

"It is decided then. Our party will now be one of not fifteen, but seventeen individuals." He smiled proudly at Sage and Ricki as they signed their names. The two women turned to Bilbo, who was currently being teased by Bofur, just as he fainted. The looks that the women sent the dwarves made Thorin believe that they _might _be capable of fending for themselves in the wilderness.

* * *

Sage went over and checked the hobbit's pulse. "He'll be fine. I've never actually seen someone faint from shock before."

Gandalf had just left the hobbit alone in the room where he was resting when Sage went in. "You should come." Bilbo looked up, thinking he would find a mocking look on her face, but he found nothing but sincerity. "I saved the scones and pie, just like you asked. Do you want a slice?"

"That sounds absolutely wonderful right now."

"Ricki and I are planning on going with them. We'd love it if you would come. The other dwarves don't seem as if they were make the most preferable company. Or maybe it's just Thorin."

"Yes, well he…"

"Acts like he has a stick up his ass?" she suggested.

Despite her vulgar language, Bilbo couldn't help but laugh at the comment. It was actually refreshing. "Food, vulgarities… it would seem you know just how to make a hobbit feel better."

She smiled warmly. "So will you at least consider coming?"

"You read the contract. There's a chance I may never come back."

"Ricki and I would never let that happen. I promise."

Bilbo knew that he had no reason to trust this woman. He had only met her a couple hours ago! And yet, she was very close to convincing him of coming on an adventure. Him! Bilbo Baggins! "I'm afraid I'll have to decline. It was very nice meeting you."

"Yes. It was nice meeting you two."

Meanwhile, Ricki had her own little tiff with Thorin. She was standing by the door, waiting for Sage to finish speaking with Bilbo. "Why are you and your sister _really _coming?" he asked bitterly.

"We want to help." It was the most Ricki had said all evening. She was trying desperately to keep her temper.

"Why would you want to help us? Our business is none of your concern."

"I know how feel."

"And how on earth could you know how we feel? You live in this cushy town. Was your home ever stolen from you?"

"Mine destroyed."

At that, Thorin left the subject alone. He realized he knew nothing of his new companions and he had just succeeded in offending both of them, including the hobbit. Maybe they _were_ the fierce warrior and sorcorcess that Gandalf painted them to be, but only time would tell.

**Author's Note: Unfortunately, I have a little homework for those who read this. Could you please help me find out just how tall the dwarves and Bilbo are for future reference? That would be really helpful. Thank you for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

Sage took in a huge breath of the fresh morning air, in a lighthearted attempt to get Ricki to look on the bright side. "Look at it this way, Ricki. At least we aren't riding the ponies like the dwarves." She spoke in English because Ricki was so uncomfortable with the languages of Middle Earth.

"I almost think I would prefer the ponies. We're shorter than a couple of the dwarves," she pointed out morosely.

"I would prefer if you would speak in the common tongue," Thorin snapped. "The last thing I need is two members of my company to be plotting."

"What on earth could we be plotting?" Sage demanded, exasperated.

"I do not trust a sorceress," was all he said.

The two sisters huffed before they were approached by Thorin's nephews. "Fili," said one.

"And Kili," said the other.

"At your service." In unison.

"We have a proposition for you two ladies," said Fili with a smirk.

"All of us are betting on whether or not Master Baggins is going to show up today. Care to make any bets yourselves?" Kili threw them both a devilish grin.

"Why not?" Sage threw a look to her sister. "Care to join, Ricki?" Although Ricki shook her head and refused to put money on either outcome, Sage shoved a bag of coins at the brothers, betting on Bilbo Baggins.

"Excellent. Now we are very curious as to whether or not you two are the youngest members of our company." Fili glanced at Ori. "For the time being, Ori is our youngest member, but we're very curious."

"So ladies," enquired Kili. "How old are you?"

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to enquire about a woman's age?" teased Sage. "We're thirty and twenty-eight."

"Pay up, brother," laughed Kili. "I told you that they were older than Ori." Fili grudgingly handed his brother a few coins, just in time for Bilbo Baggins to arrive.

Now it was Sage's turn to laugh as she gave Mr. Baggins a triumphant grin. As he was thrown onto a pony by two dwarves, her horse fell in beside him and Gandalf. "I knew you'd come." Bilbo couldn't be sure, but she almost looked happy that he had come.

"You couldn't possibly have known that," Bilbo lightly replied, just as a rather large bag of coins was tossed towards Sage. "What is all this?"

"Most of us placed bets on whether or not you would choose to come on the journey. It would appear I was right."

"Myself, as well," agreed Gandalf as a bag of coins was tossed his way. "I never doubted you for a second."

"By the way – " Bilbo began, before he fell into a short-lived sneezing fit. He quickly muttered something about having reaction to the ponies' hair before trying to find a handkerchief. Finding none, he quickly went into a panic.

Just as he was tossed a piece of filthy cloth – which he certainly did not intend to put anywhere near his face – he peeked at the two sisters to notice the entertained – although not entirely unsympathetic – mirror smiles on their faces. "You'll soon get used to this," was all Sage said as her sister nodded, still in a fit of laughter. Perhaps, Bilbo thought to himself, the two women were not so out of place after all among this throng of dwarves.

Bringing the subject back to their previous conversation Sage asked, "Now what is it you were about to say?"

Bilbo began tentatively, afraid that the two sisters – and all the dwarves for that matter – would laugh at him, but when he saw the keen interest on all their faces, especially Sage's, he plucked up enough courage to ask his question. "I was actually wondering if you would be willing to tell us a little about where you come from. History, stories, language…Things of that sort."

At this, Sage became incredibly excited. "I was hoping that you could do the same favor for us. I realize that we've been here a few months, but I feel as though I haven't learned anything at all and it really is pathetic. We know almost nothing about Middle Earth."

"Perhaps a trade would be fair," suggested Gandalf. He was absolutely delighted at the idea of this trade as it was information regarding the sisters that had prompted him to invite them on this journey in the first place. Soon, the entire company was alive and all but one of the dwarves – the exception of course being Thorin Oakenshield – Gandalf and Bilbo all were happy to share tales about Middle Earth. Although, a lot of the time spent on the storytelling was also spent with Sage trying to translate to Ricki as best she could.

At the same time, Sage was also scrawling in a small journal. Bilbo peeked at it to see strange, foreign letters adorning the pages, along with very accurate drawings of the landscapes and members of the company. Sadly, though, he noticed that his picture was absent among the drawings. In fact, the only company member that had currently been drawn was Gandalf. "What's that you've got there?" he asked nonchalantly, trying desperately to feign disinterest. Although it embarrassed him to admit this to himself, Bilbo desperately wanted to prove that he was worthy of the company, and the friendship of some of its members.

As usual, Sage seemed unperturbed by the distraction. "I'm keeping track of my time here on Middle Earth for when Ricki and I return home, not that anyone will believe us. There are no dragons where we come from. They're considered fairy tales for children. The closest thing we have is a komodo dragon and that doesn't even live in our country."

Bilbo had no idea whatsoever what a komodo dragon was, or why it was not in fact an actual dragon, but did not want to admit his ignorance, so he thought it would be better to avoid the subject entirely. "You're a wonderful artist."

Sage beamed at the compliment. "Thank you. It would appear medical school was worth something here, at least. I learned how to draw in my anatomy class."

The conversation was quickly leaving the realm that Bilbo Baggins was comfortable with so he once again tried to steer the conversation back into his realm of comfort. "I have something for you." Out of his pack, he sneakily pulled out one of the scones she had brought him the previous night. "It's to show my appreciation. You were, after all, one of my only polite guests last night."

She appeared appreciative of the gesture, and their conversation for the rest of the day was pleasant. Bilbo couldn't quite understand why he so desperately wanted her approval – after all, she and her sister had been a constant source for Hobbiton gossip – but nevertheless there was something about the foreign air of the two sisters that drew the entire company in. Everyone, of course, except Thorin.

Evening came, and so did an unforeseen problem: the women leaving the group. Apparently, Thorin was more dense than either the women or Gandalf had anticipated. "And why on earth would you two need to leave the group?"

In an act of insubordination, the women simultaneously rolled their eyes. "As you should probably know, there are certain activities which are a little more difficult for women in the woods than for men." This was, Bilbo believed, the first he had seen Sage this annoyed.

"Are we to come running to your rescue should you come under attack?"

At this, both sisters laughed openly. "I pity the poor creature who thinks that they can beat Ricki."

Thorin could not understand Sage's confidence, but then he saw what he assumed was a weapon in Ricki's hands. "What is that?" he asked. Although he could not identify it, there was something menacing about it, although it wasn't sharp.

"This is a gun," Ricki said. Many members of the company had never heard her speak before so they all clustered in to hear her explanation of the weapon. "Can kill from very far. I'm good with it."

"Ricki is a Master Marksman," said Sage proudly. "Believe me, I feel even safer with Ricki than I do with Gandalf or any other member of the company."

"Let them go, Thorin," Gandalf said simply, as he smoked his pipe. "As you said, you are not responsible for their safety."

Thorin huffed indignantly as the two women wandered into the woods. There was nothing he hated more than for his authority to be undermined. The women had made one powerful enemy that night. "Women will always be trouble," he muttered to himself, as the company settled in for the night, only for the sisters to begin tales of where they come from. They began with a country – which was not in fact their own – called Greece.

* * *

As time passed, the women quickly assimilated into the company, and so did Bilbo. On that night, neither sister found they could sleep and stayed up with Fili and Kili who were telling stories about their childhood as Sage sketched them. Bilbo couldn't sleep, either, over the sound of Gloin's snoring, so he decided to join them. However, before a conversation could begin, all of them heard strange noises from the distance, and the hairs rose on the back of their necks.

"What was that?" Bilbo squeaked. As he said this, Ricki reached for all of her guns, her eyes flitting around the landscape, nervously.

With that, the two brothers began telling the two sisters stories about orcs and the silent killings in the night.

Just as the brothers began laughing at their little joke, making the other members feel very embarrassed at how gullible they had been, Thorin stepped in and he was very angry. "You think that an orc attack is a joke?"

"We didn't mean anything by it." The brothers quickly made their excuses.

"No, you didn't."

As the dwarf-king stomped away from the group to brood, Balin stepped in to explain Thorin's irritation, explaining away the entire story of the battles in Moria. This was one of the first times the sisters had felt any pity for the cantankerous dwarf. He rarely listened to the stories they told of Greece and always had some criticism or another for them or the hobbit. It was only now that they began to consider that he had suffered almost as much loss as they had. Now, all the dwarves stood, staring at their leader in awe, as he appeared to have calmed down some.

Now none of the dwarves could sleep, but it was still far too dark to begin packing up and riding again. They all sat around the fire, staring at Sage and Ricki expectantly. After hearing such an intimate story from Thorin's past, they felt as if they should explain bits and pieces of their own, but then realized that sharing their past would be impossible without explaining the rest of the world's history up to the beginning of their lives. Up until now, they had shared many stories about the Greeks: their mythology, their language, even Greek fire. Now, there was really only one story left, before moving on to other historical events, but the sisters were afraid to tell it, because it might remind Thorin of his own life.

"I will tell the story of three hundred Spartans," began Ricki, whose skill in the common tongue had improved enormously. She spent the next two hours explaining every detail of the battle between the Greeks and the Persians. Once the story was finished, the dwarves' eyes were sparkling with wonder.

"Did three hundred men really defend against thousands?" asked Ori.

"Yes. The Greeks had much better warriors and a much better tactical position than the Persians. Plus it doesn't hurt that the Athenians had an amazing navy." Ricki could have written an entire dissertation on this battle.

This story did seem to keep Thorin's attention much better than any other story the sisters had told. "So the only reason the Greeks were defeated was because their supposed allies abandoned them?" His blue eyes burned with anger. Everyone suspected that this anger did not come from the story about the Greeks.

"That is what history appears to tell us, yes."

"It is bizarre that the story of my people should have similarities." He was undoubtedly referring to his abandonment by the elves of Mirkwood.

Gandalf was, as usual, smoking his pipe. "Tell me, Ricki. Do the Greeks still resent the Persians?"

"No." Ricki's green eyes met Thorin's. "In fact, neither country exists as it once did. Thousands of years have passed since then."

By now the sun was beginning to peek over the horizon and it was time for the company to gather their things and continue their journey. As Ricki was strapping her guns to her horse, Thorin passed her and hissed "I sincerely doubt the Greeks have given up their grudge as you think, but even if they have, that doesn't mean that I have to."

"It's okay to hate him," Ricki replied simply. "Sometimes, hate is the only thing that makes a person wake up in the morning. However, the key is not to let it get the better of you. Otherwise, you lose your head and do something stupid."

The warning in her eyes was plain to Thorin, so he nodded slowly, surprised at how well she understood. He felt as if he wanted to say something, to express he happiness at her understanding, but instead was silent as he mounted his pony and the company continued onward.


End file.
